You know how the story goes… Boy meets Girl. They fall in love. They get married. Blah, Blah, Blah…Well, for me it was more like girl gets fed up with dating losers and wasting good makeup on emotionally screwed up men. Girl gets dog and they are all set to live happily ever after. Then, … BOOM… like being hit by a Mack truck, Girl finds the guy that she never thought would she find.
And that’s where this episode of “who the hell knew I’d get married” begins. Honestly, I’ve been surprised at how much planning I haven’t done pre-boyfriend, pre-proposal, pre-fiancé. Many of the wedding vendors they ask what I’ve imagined my dream wedding to be. My response of “uhhh…. I don’t know.”, always shocks them. Apparently, I’m supposed to be sleeping with a Modern Bride magazine under my pillow. To be honest, I had no idea of what I wanted with my wedding. After over a decade of dating the wrong guy and dumping them as if I were playing “hot potato”, it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d get married.
So, right off the bat here I've felt like I’m behind in my planning. The good news is that I can plan a party in my sleep. Food, music, drinks, etc…. Piece of cake (no pun intended). When I started planning the wedding I thought it would be the same scenario as planning a party. It sounds simple, right? WRONG. First of all, I have to say that the whole bridal industry is a scam. You but put bridal next to flowers, music, whatever… and it’s double the price. It’s also complicated. It makes planning for a simple, classy, AFFORDABLE wedding near impossible. But, it’s totally doable.
With the help of my wonderful fiancé, I planed the whole thing in a month. Now I’m happily resting upon my laurels and awaiting the big day. (What the hell is laurel anyway? Is that an old fashioned way of saying ass? I digress….) I’ve decided to share my wedding planning wisdom with all of you (yes, I know, I’m very generous).
Rules for Sanity
1) Recommendations
Without recommendations I would be dead in the water and slightly crazy right now. No joke. I’d be mumbling something about DJ, cake, photog, right now and rocking in my chair with crazy hair.
Start with people who had an awesome wedding. Let’s face it, once you reached a certain age you’ve been to more weddings then you’d like to admit. If you loved their pictures, or cake or whatever, ask them who they used and if they would recommend them to you. Most people are more than happy to make a recommendation and many times you’ll get a referral discount from your DJ, florist or whomever.
2) For the love God, make a list
I’m a planner and, as such, I love lists. I would be lost without making a list of everything I have to do with my day. From the grocery store to miscellaneous items like calling the bank about that weird $10 charge, it’s on the list. I love checking things off with a fervent sense of accomplishment. Now you may not be list-crazy like me, but trust me on this one. Make a list. Wedding web sites likes the www.weddingchannel.com and www.theknot.com have lists already made for you (how easy is that?), and you can personalize them to your needs so you don’t forget a thing.
3) Set a budget and then haggle
Everyone has a budget. Even if you’re having a $100,000 wedding (and yes, I’d like an invite) you have a budget. Know what you magic number is for each item (food, music, etc…) and then haggle (yes, it’s ok to haggle). To establish a budget, you can start with http://www.weddingchannel.com/ or http://www.theknot.com/ and use theirs, or you can make up your own.
The main elements are: location (wedding/reception), dress, food, booze, cake, music, photog/video, flowers, and officiant. Generally when you nail down the location they have a recommended vendors list that you can use (once again, using recommendations).
I’ve been pretty honest with people in terms of my budget. For example, I told the florist that I had a $1500 budget and asked what could we do with that. It ended up being more like $1800 but, she was able to work with me and with my price range.
If someone quaff’s or won’t work with your budget, leave immediately. I’ve heard horror stories about women being mistreated at dress boutiques. How horrible is that? Getting married and joining families is stressful enough. We don’t need to be mistreated. They obviously don’t need our hard earned money, do they?
4) Ask for what you want
People aren’t mind readers. If you want doves released, ask for it. Your event planner will figure out how’s it’s all going to work. If you don’t ask for exactly what you’d like, people will never be able to help you or live up to your expectations. And there’s nothing worse then not enjoying your own party.
5) Remember, those crazy women on Bridezillahs aren’t cute.
I’ve known one too many brides that starts screaming “this is MY day” or “you have to do what I want”. Come on, people! We are here to celebrate you and your new life, but that doesn’t mean that you have to behave like a brat. Planning and coordinating a wedding is stressful, but you are a big girl and you can handle yourself with grace. And let’s remember, all of that frowning just means more wrinkles in the long run. And I don’t know about you, but the thought of Botox (and that needle coming out at me) is pretty scary.
So, those are my words of wisdom for today. I hope this was helpful. It’s not easy to plan a wedding but it can be done in a sort period of time, and without medication. Happy planning!
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